Fighting Corporate Bullying

       I never for once thought I’d have to be writing an article like this, but I’ve had quite enough. My girlfriend had an experience today that made me absolutely furious. Not only because it happened her, but to me in almost the exact fashion. The way that woman are bullied in the workplace has to stop. I’m not referring to physical contact here, I mean the psychological bullying that tends to happen to people who are consciously excelling in their positions and behave professionally within the corporate social realm.   

      I am waiting and pleading that women from non-African descent will submit their similar experiences in the workplace before I start lose my faith. For those who have experienced what I am about to discuss,  whatever it is that the world thinks you are, however it is they go about trying to define you ,whether by race, religion, age, nationality or complexion (they have SO much to choose from) – know that you are NOT alone. 

        The situation is this: You work in an office environment and you consider yourself to be relatively happy with your work, friendly and have no previous problems with office staff. Your performance is way above average and you are getting nothing but kudos from your managers. It’s all on paper.  Then one day, out of the blue, the manager needs to speak with you ‘right away’.  

Creative Control and its Conundrums

I have a friend, (who has been SO BUSY he has not visited my site – so now I can talk about him –he-he-he) who recently published his first novel, and was simultaneously educated about the curt reality of the editorial process. I wish now that I had read the rough draft of his novel when he offered, and before it was in the publisher’s hands. According to his recollection, a few drafts after his initial submission his first published copy was the manifestation of a creative and technical perversion of its predecessor.  

In Pursuit of Patience

It was bad enough that I waited for an hour yesterday at the passport office – only to find that I forgot my birth certificate at home AND that the front desk failed to explain that someone who has a passport file online gets an advanced ticket….But after bravely returning there today – I was served the most slimy plate of rudeness than I have been in a while. With a dessert of subtly – of course, just the way those DGAs (Demon Government Agents) like it.  Dealing with that condescending troglodyte left me feeling more vulnerable than the DGA the day before, at least she allowed me a few minutes to plow through my purse – frantically looking for that which would never be found. It was more downtrodden than the feeling of walking away defeated after wasting my entire lunch hour plus $5 worth of gas – and worst yet, on the last day my application could be processed in time for pick up before my trip. 

The Great Divide

What is it about some of us that divides the dreamers from the dead? Passion.  

The passion of possibility and its promise. A man might say “But I have no gift – no creative pulse” and this is untrue. Creativity as the word is used here, is the interpretation of artistic elements manifested as music, drama, visual arts, literature and dance. Such freedom does this allow, that the measure of these are insurmountable.

There is not one single work of art that has not been inspiring to one person alone – even if only to the artist. This is the purpose of the gift – to inspire, provoke and cultivate thought and culture in ourselves and the world around us. To attain the intangible to which no price can be fixed.  

I believe it is for this feeling we search, as we plow through the post secondary schedules and career websites. Searching for that thing  that feeling – hoping we come across it in the name of a job title or degree program. A feeling that seldom vanishes once the process has begun – the reality has set in – indiscreet and final.  Friends, the gift is in all of us –however stunted or untouched. The unmentioned paths never taken – so many experiences waiting to be wanted by us.

A talk with a stranger becomes a counseling lesson. One day volunteered at a homeless shelter. Running ones fingers across the neighbour’s piano to hear the sound. A book of monies and/or stamps collected from all over the world. A lemonaid stand for the neighbourhood children. A trip to the skating rink. A new pair of goggles. A ticket to Ghana. An impromptu lunch at a Napali restaurant. A Somalian bridal shower attendance. A poem. A film. A prayer for a friend.   

Denise  

Banks and their Egos

Banks really know how to get me going. I mean – I am not the perfect customer …sometimes things bounce ….once in a blue moon – you know -BUT it could be because they feel the need to control where, how and when I manage MY money.  

Account agreements are quite detailed and informative documents that cover legal responsibilities between account holder and account keeper – but the powes that be forgot to add a few notes in the fineprint. Here is an excerpt of that revision: 

Once you deposit money into this institution, it is ours. We will LET you take out $300 maximum with any deposit – but the rest will not be available to you until we’ve spent it and can pay you back – that might be about a week or so. Oh and BY the way – depending on your postal code – we sight any deposit over $1000 – as a fraudulent activity and we reserve the right hold ALL funds in your accounts without notifying you if there is a deposit of any amount equaling or above said value. We will charge you to deposit or withdraw your money to purchase items that you will pay taxes on – and earned through hard work and fervent labour.           All you have to do is keep giving us all your cash. Our calendar day ends at 6pm – so if you punch out of your job at 6 – or cannot get to one of our machines by then, your money will not be considered deposited until the next day. However if we are withdrawing money for our payments – any day – any time will do. If we say the 15^th – that might mean the funds might be withdrawn between midnight the 13^th to midnight the 16^th (weekends and holidays not included).  

We open at around 9ish and close at about 4 and are closed on the weekends with the exception of a few locations where we think those people deserve to have access to in person service.  We count your money, we take your money – we lend you money (but only if you have money) AND we make money from your money.  

All in all – we are doing YOU a favour by keeping and spending your money for you.  

Nice. Where do I sign? 

That fine space between my mattress and boxspring is looking better and better each day.

Denise

Today’s band-aid solution

      Its March break – and I am home with the little ones.  Yes. Yes. Lucky me. I know that. But what you may not know is that if I were to step foot out of my house –perhaps to enjoy the vastness of my backyard that I have not seen in months,  I would be waist deep in s*&^.  S(*& has become a new curse word in my vocabulary. For the last few days – all its done is S*&^, S*^&, and S*&^.  S*&^ is piled so high on my front lawn – I can’t see my neighbour’s driveway anymore. If they had ‘fallen down and couldn’t get up’  - there would be trouble!

These are the friends in our lives

We can’t treat them all the same. We just cannot. They cannot treat us all the same. It is unrealistic. Once we accept this we can move forward to determine what kind of people we surround ourselves with.  

 

Who are you friends? Part II

I’ve been meaning to follow up on my earlier post to address some of the questions that were raised concerning friends, boundaries and the like. 

 I would like to discuss practical examples of what those boundaries might be and how they might affect the type of relationships we have.  Speaking mostly to the female friend, there are some of us that will tolerate much more from our lovers than we would our friends. This I find interesting, because it says something about the value we places someone we are intimately with. Often, when this pairing is an abomination before God and man – and everyone knows it – friends are likely to question us, correct us – support us and encourage us to be wise and practical in our relationship decision making. We tend to get defensive, coarse, resentful and malicious even though many times this support is initiated by our own actions- when we actively involve them by leaning on them for advice and support.

So long February!

          Well looky here. February has come and gone and outside my window sits a mountain of snow and daring blue sky. I was fit to be tied this morning when I turned on BT only to hear that ALL schools were open.            I was put off – not because I thought it was the wrong decision – oh no. I was dreading the reaction from our two school attendees on site. They were sooo looking forward to a snow day – as their teacher was kind enough to forewarn them of the possibility (something I never would have done). So of course they got their hopes up and POOF!!!

There went the dream.

‘Serious Tracey’ at Citytv – told us straight -‘All schools are open – but there are bus closures to report’. Oh it was like a slap in the face. Any-who – they got over it …. and soon they were yelling from the kitchen – asking when one of us was going outside to shovel the driveway.              

Can you believe that? Onward and forward with Spring mother Nature, and good riddance to boots, snow pants, pneumonia and bossy children. 

Next winter – we’ll see who’s going to be shoveling what.  Denise

This thing called family

You love them.

You live with them. But do you like them?  They are called Family.  Once upon a time, (and still in many places all over the world), family was THE core of one’s existence, second only to God.   Family, by divine donation was a total turn key operation with ready made friends, spouses, colleagues and associates. Some entire communities were created out of a family.  One would be born into family, raised by family, educated and employed by family. Married to family.  Oh yes-picture being married to one your cousins. FunTimes.