Sometimes life requires one to stand in another’s shoe. I haven’t been single in about …. 12 years…actually maybe 13 years – so I’m not the subject matter expert here. What continues to interest me however, are the fascinating dynamics of the male–female relationship.
Who chooses who?
One’s life these days does not seem complete if not dotted with numerous failed relationships along its path. Some of us have had a bit of bad luck, others a few long term relationships–and then there are those of us who just…let it happen. Hasn’t it ever puzzled you why ‘John’ or ‘that girl over there’ seems to just date…well whoever chooses them or the vice versa scenario;
Scenario #1: Girl chooses boy. Boy says ‘ok’ (having nothing better to do) and spends the whole relationship looking for someone he actually likes.
Sounds like the typical teenage relationship, doesn’t it? Well now, when we have supposedly ‘grown up’ – why do we continue to default to the same pedantic patterns of our younger years? There was plenty at stake then and much more now; your time, your reputation, your soul…If there is anything I’ve learned from studies, experience and observation, it’s that men typically don’t fare well with rejection. That not only indicates that it is difficult for them to be rejected – but also to ‘reject’. So what you end up having are people who have convinced themselves that they are in relationships when they are really one or two single folks … pretending that they are adored or that they themselves possess someone. Is this what they call ‘settling’?
There is a happy medium, you can choose someone who also chooses you -but some like the challenge; the Sisyphean task of chasing the fantasy. Human nature I guess.
Denise
i am always surprised at many of the men who git on me, simply becuase they are lonely and are looking for “someone”. i am considered attractive but doubt this has anything to do with it, i am social and wnjoy tlaking to people, some men are stoked just to have someone pay attention to them.
i do not choose them because i am not “anyone” and if they set there standards so low, how can i trust them to want me to treat them with respect.
oftne, when i reject these blokes they will get upset and perhaps even rude. like i think i’m too good for them. but it’s not like they want to get to know me as a person anyway, they are just lonely-they are looking for anyone.
they just can’t see that i am giving them a compliment with the refjection- you are worth more than lowering your standards, you are worth having the bar raised for, you are worth more than someone who would go out with a person who just wants anyone.
Comment by char — April 6, 2008 @ 8:25 am |