Vicarious Vanity and Meticulous Mating – not an apparent match

Is vanity innate or learned? What part does it play in social realm of mating?

 

Vanity

 

Excessive pride in one’s appearance, qualities, abilities, achievements, etc.; character or quality of being vain; conceit

 

Above all things that irritate me about people, the characteristic of vanity is among the top five. – but now I have come to understand the link between mating and vanity….. The  UK did a study on mating behaviour:

 

 “The study also found that men and women are looking for opposite things when it comes to relationships, with men seeking women who are open to casual or short-term flings while women look for potential mates.

Researchers from Durham, St. Andrews and Aberdeen universities conducted two studies asking more than 700 heterosexual participants to judge facial photos for attractiveness and attitudes toward sex. The photos, all of real people in their 20s, were manipulated to reflect strong features associated with sexual openness or commitment.

These judgments were then compared with the actual attitudes of the photographed individuals, based on data from questionnaires.

Casual females more attractive, males less

The researchers found that the participants could generally judge whether the individual would be up for a one-night stand or commitment.

Additionally, females open to flings were judged to be more attractive, while casual males were deemed less attractive.

Men with squarer jaws, larger noses and smaller eyes were most open to casual sex, and were generally perceived as being more masculine than the men pegged as mate material. Previous research has indicated that women see masculine men as more likely to be unfaithful and worse parents.

 

Taken from :

http://technology.sympatico.msn.cbc.ca/

 

So let me get this straight. The women who are assumed to be open to a one night stand are who guys find most attractive? And the men that women find more attractive are the ones that look less masculine?  Well that is just completely bizarre. 

 

So this implies that a woman that is constantly being hounded by men (who then deems herself as socially attractive) might find herself involved in a series of short term, one night, encounters – simply because she has access to a wider range of men. The poor woman then begins to think they like her – they really must like her – and that she is universally attractive – really attractive –and thus enters vanity in its finest robes.  A woman might then begin to feel the need to look a certain way all the time; dedicating a large part of her person to the expectations of men. Her self image might become distorted; interpreting every time-check, direction inquiry and subtle glance as a flirtatious attempt. And men will continue to flock to this energy as the cycle continues.

 

We, the others, the invisible – sit back and watch in horror as these women’s lives are stolen; days – weeks, months – sometimes years – all wasted before they had begun. They paint their faces before sunrise, in the car ,at the grocery store bathroom, hopefully hanging on to a few words that fed their vanities a consistent and healthy dosage.

 

 

Denise DaCosta