Dumb questions people ask and the answers I wish I could give

Dumb questions people ask and the answers I wish I could give

 

 

–at work.

 

Questions turn strangers into companions and colleagues into enemies. Here are a few questions that define the latter of the two.

 

Uncomfortable questions people ask

 

1)       Why can’t you come out for drinks after work?

 

Polite answers: Because I have to pick up my children from the sitter – like I do everyday

Other Real answers  : Because I don’t drink

Other Real answers  : Because I have no money

 

2)       Why can’t your mother watch your children?

 

Polite answer: My mother isn’t a babysitter

Other Real answers : She’s no longer with us

Other Real answers:  She’s crazy

 

Wait a minute. Why do people assume that mothers are always sitting there hands open – waiting to watch our children? What about the fathers? Oh – of course men don’t watch kids – or maybe we don’t have any of those ‘fathers’.

 

 

Questions that you just don’t ask

 

3)       How much do you get paid?  

 

Are you serious? Even this is referenced in the HR handbook. This deserves some education, and I’m more than willing to teach.

 

4)       Can I touch your hair?

 

No.No.and No. When is the last time someone asked you to touch your hair? Is this a museum? I’ll let you off the hook this one time – but I’m watching you.

 

None of your damn business

 

5)       What does your husband do?

 

You shouldn’t make it so easy to let a stranger know when you are trying to sum them up in one sitting. Once I tell you this, you will then fill in his salary, where we live, our education attainment and pretty much our life savings in a matter of minutes. After you incorrectly solve this equation you will then decide how I should be treated. Nice try.

 

6)       How much did you pay for your house?

Of all the nerve – this has got to be the eye popper of the bunch. Why on Earth would you need to know that? Consult a realtor if you’re looking to make a bid.  

 

7)       Where are you from?

Polite Answer: Canada

 

       No – where are you from – you know your parents?

 

Okay. Who are you really interested in here? Me or my parents whose last names you’ve never heard. If I’m from somewhere – that is where I’m from. If you really believe in your own logic – then perhaps I should be telling you where my parents’ parents are from – or maybe their parents – where does it begin, really?

 

9)       How old are you?

 

Too old to be answering this question.

 

Questions that defy the meaning of ‘Bad Manners’

 

10)   Eww – what is that smell ? What is that you’re eating?

 

This has got to be the rudest thing ever to ask someone – and can you please take your nose out of my Tupperware container? NOTHING says ‘eww’ like your mucus in my ‘ethnic’ food. Thanks.

 

11)   You work here? – You look so young…

 

What you were really hoping is that I am someone’s daughter so you can push me around and ask me to file your P.O’s while you go take a smoke. Don’t bother asking the next obvious question (#3) – you won’t like the answer.

 

 

12)   Can I ask you how many children do you have?

 

If I didn’t mention having children – then you probably shouldn’t ask this one.

 

13)   Are you pregnant?

 

No. Now what?

 

 

14)   How did you get this job?

 

I bet you already think you know. Why should I disabuse you of that notion? Next!

 

15)   What university did you go to?

 

What are you, HR? Do you even know my name? That is one presumptuous question right there.

 

 

The questions that rub you the wrong way and are innocuous – but somehow do make you uncomfortable

16)   Where do you live?

 

Sometimes you know when someone is in the middle of judging you and they have forgotten a piece of the puzzle. Depending on who you are and your reaction…this could be awkward.

 

17)   What is your religion?

 

Stop the presses folks, we have a winner.