Should cost be considered when qualifying a token as a gift? What about ownership?
If you are married –can you really buy your spouse a car as a gift? What about a house?
Have you ever heard someone gloating about the new ‘car’ their husband bought them? Hmm. It makes me wonder what these people expect you to say…I mean…if he paid for it – then didn’t you technically pay for it …yourself…I mean since you’re married and all. And if he bought it FOR you without your knowledge, then it must be in his name – which would mean its not really registered to you…
I mean will he be making the monthly payments? And where was that money going before? Actually where did they money come from? You just don’t save up $5000.00-$10,000 without someone noticing. Or CAN you? Did he cash out his life savings? Perhaps money he had prior to your meeting? What happened? These are the questions I would be asking if someone (particularly an acquaintance) takes up my valuable time to tell me that they were given a rather expensive ‘gift’ from a spouse. I find it particularly insensitive and rude if the person on the receiving end of this tall tale is single.
If this should happen to you, stop and think about why they felt the need to mention it. Are they planning on giving you a ride in this new car? No. They plan on parking it at the far end of the parking lot between two spaces for the remainder of their tenure – and keep the plastic wrappings on the seats. They might not even let you get close, but will be sure to wave as they pass you at the bus stop in the dead of winter. I mean if its such a great car – why doesn’t it have brakes ?
So how do we respond to these akward comments? In advance, one should prepare a list in the event that you should be approached. Perhaps you can reply,
“Oh that’s nice. See this $400.00 suit? I bought it as a gift for myself? Isn’t that wonderful?”
Or what about the house you and your husband bought? Perhaps that could qualify that as a gift if he put in more money than you did! Or the wedding? Is this going to become the new ‘engagement ring’ syndrome? We can brag about each purchase made by another individual – but to what point?
Leave it to us humans to convince ourselves that gifts from a spouse reflects the quality of our relationships or is reflection of their thoughts of us, and of their own worth. This of course is a heap of baloney. Just ask anyone who is divorced – who owns what.
Denise
