The Power of Society – Who is in charge here??
I’m sitting in class at 8:30 pm surrounded by a group of young ladies lamenting on the length of the time they’ve spent in school, debating on how they can delay the inevitable endless pit of the working world.
They sweat anxiety at getting a grade below ‘A’ (which I find admirable because they actually know what an ‘A’ looks like on their university transcript – an unfulfilled achievement of my own). Two are employed, one is in her fifth year, and the next is finishing off a double major in English and Psychology (she is officially my hero), and the big pink elephant in the room gets up from its seat and sits squarely in between us asking ‘Why are we doing this to ourselves?’
The most eclectic of us (in appearance only) – asks, ‘Well if you don’t have a degree you can’t get a job…right?’ So glad there was a moment I could provide input. The rest of us 9 to 5 ers enlightened the misinformed woman about the REAL work world, and how only selective Baccelaurette degrees are directly related to the career one might follow – the rest are just a check mark on the HR interview guide – only a foot in the door. She expressed her desire to become a writer and it hit home. After discovering I was NOT 19, (and demanding id for proof) – I launched into her for not pursuing Journalism – and then she ask THE QUESTION
-“Why are you taking this course-to get a better job?” and without hesitation I replied that my ideal job would be teaching, and if I was to become a teacher today, I’d be dropping my salary significantly.
Why did I say that? Why did I assume by BETTER job – she meant salary? It would have been better had I asked – ‘What do you mean by ‘better’” Though the starting salary would put me years back – to me it IS A better job – because its better for me Hands down.
“So you just love school?” she asked. And they waited. And waited. I spat out some incoherent babble. But the question was still left lingering. Has schooling become a tradition to me? A tradition that transcends common sense, true purpose and skill? Is it unreasonable for me to still pursue this dream of becoming one? IS it worth the hours taken away from my family and growing children? The knotted stomach, the red eye syndrome- the COST! Money I could applying toward my monster mortgage (or buying more STUFF depending on which side of the society scale I’m leaning on).
When is enough – enough?
We all have our ideas about society’s expectations of conformity. For those of us who are paying attention – we can separate most actions as a derivative of one of two sources Self and Society. As the world changes these two concepts seem to merge and can turn our lives into an endless dichotomy. Do we have to be on one side or the other? How is this reflected in our choices? If we removed the ideas of ‘what might someone think’ and replace it with ‘ how might this affect myself and others in the short term and long term’ is that the self? IS that thinking outside the norm? Or is there always a norm – a set of defined standards that fall in line with expectations…
These are the questions I have today. How do we make our decisions? What are the true motives behind our actions? And when is it okay stop ‘doing’ and start living?
Wondering away,
Denise
D,
I am honoured to be named in your profusion of blogs (THANKS). I’m glad that I can inspire, as you inspire me.
I remember reading an email that described the various ages of women and the positive attributes that they can achieve at each decade. The attributes for the 30s and 40s stood out to me, namely because I am always looking ahead, but because they stated that a woman in that time of her life is confident, and self assured because she knows who she is. She doesn’t care what people say or think about her.
I know that it takes more than time to make a man or woman, and I know that time does not bring confidence- it is experience, and time (critically) with self. So maybe with 30 – 40 years of experience (in today’s society) women are given enough time, experience to examine themselves, their lives, their families, their friends and understand where they stand in the mix. What they do for themselves and for others, and why.
So I guess the point is not to necessarily wait until a ‘point in time’, but to understand what may be to come and let it wash over you gracefully. To boldly go and do whatever we want (on the side of right), and be confident that it is for the best, regardless of ‘others’.
It is to fear GOD not man.
Comment by Marsha B Smith — July 18, 2008 @ 1:35 pm |
The proverbial question of whether we work to live or live to work. I have no smooth or quick answer to this intended discourse. I would love to say that I work to live but often times I find myself sinking into the other. At lucid moments I realize I have latched onto possessing – things that I categorize as belonging to this world – being a part of it. So your discussion raises so many issues for me.
The dream of my life and where I am being directed to go – I am not sure where my own desires became replaced with the expectations others have for me that I adapted. But I can’t deny that it did and sometimes continues to happen. But at least I am now aware of when it happens Being an avid student and learner – I love knowledge (the acqusition of it) being able to grasp a concept and being smarter or more understanding of the world view I have developed and the tolerant to what I have gained. What does an education afford you in this scenario? The ability to decipher the important things in life – or at least I will say on my journey an education has afforded me the opportunity to crtiticallly analyze my life, education and other’s expectations of me and where they intersect.
I have begun the next chapter of my life glad for the experience of an education and the gift of critically analyzing the steady diet of crap that is sometimes fed to me. I don’t always like it – it is not always fair – but I know what I will fight for and what I will let go. So thank you blessed education – you have granted me an understanding of the way my world works for me.
I am blessed to have an education but it is not the end of my destination. I understand that it does not matter to many even though I have it (a certificate) does not necessarily grant my immediate acceptance and entrance into mainstream and often times they will question my acquisition it.
And here is where my experience enters – it has granted me the practical application of that education. To see, deny or even accept events in my life for what they are. Sometimes I am the victim, other times I am the aggressor and other times it has nothing at all to do with me.
So when do I know what I am doing belongs to me or another. I would say 99.9% of the time I can quickly get the answer to that burning question but I would not stop the journey to sit with it for long because I just might miss the pleasure or the sting of pain from the experience. And that my friend is living. So thank you for raising this question. I had a great time thinking about it.
Michy
Comment by Michelle W — July 18, 2008 @ 1:55 pm |