I decided to add to my earlier blog because I had so much more to say about the topic. Now let’s begin by refining the definition a bit. ‘Pretty’ friend – does not mean pretty which would make you or any other friend unpretty. ‘Pretty’ is to ‘Beautiful‘ what “Privilege’ is to being ‘White’. Being one does not automatically assume the other. The ‘pretty’ friend therefore, is the one who always been told throughout their lives that they are not just pretty – but prettier than most others and MOST importantly – that this allows them a certain entitlement. By deductive logic, these people conclude that it is okay for them to be rude, obnoxious, insulting, and most importantly the center of attention at all times.
How do they make friends? Well they aren’t always ‘90210’ repulsive. I’m assuming those are exaggerated characters seeing as they speak as if they aren’t afraid of getting beat up – which is just not a reality I’ve personally lived with. ‘Pretty’ people have other dimensions to them. Even Hitler had friends – but it doesn’t mean he was a ‘nice’ guy. So I don’t want to demonize these people nor am I suggesting that should be tossed unto an island by themselves (hmmm), or that they cannot change but they might be difficult to deal with on a long term basis. Therefore you should be forewarned that If you have ‘characteristic’ pet peeves that include people who are:
G Stuck up
G Insincere
G Socially competitive
G Attention seeking
G Passive-Aggressive
G Self absorbed
G Immature
G Delusional
G Shallow
G Manipulative
G Naïve
Then the ‘pretty’ friend might not be for you. How to know if you have a ‘pretty’ friend:
a) If she didn’t look the way she did – her boyfriend wouldn’t be with her
b) She insults her boyfriend in public
c) She is convinced that her boyfriend won’t cheat because he won’t be able to find someone who looks as good as she does…
d) BUT She is terrified of her boyfriend cheating on her
e) She constantly compares her looks to ex-girlfriends and other friends
f) She acts competitively towards any other group member that shares the same relationship status (single, engaged, married) or with whom she shares some similar features
g) She might have a lot of male ‘friends’ who just so happen to want to sleep with her but she insists ‘that’s not the way it is… ‘ Here is where the naivety comes in
h) She keeps in constant contact with ex-boyfriends to ensure they don’t ‘forget’ her or move on.
i) She could open a boutique in her closet
j) She is terrified of gaining weight or cutting her hair
k) She lies about what they do for a living
l) She may steal clothing/makeup
m) She is envious of what other unpretty people have (like their jobs, families, education, materials – everything they worked for) –they want everything other people have except of course…their looks. lol
n) KEY CHARACTERISTIC ALERT – she makes references to people’s looks on a regular basis.
So what is the big deal about them? Let them be…right? WRONG! They’re a pain in the a$$ – and if you are one of them – if YOU are one of these people or you’re not sure … I suggest you go find some other people like yourself to hang with – and you’ll see just how long that relationship lasts. Pretty girls don’t usually get too close with one another. They can hang out – go to the mall, shop – party – but it won’t last. They are way to self indulgent. Each will be bored to death with the other person’s love life (because that is all they ever talk about). They generally aren’t interested in your history or learning from others (unless you’re a guy). All in all they have a huge social network with no sense of commonalities. The have mastered the evolutionary art of ‘social cheating’ to adapt to others’ personalities – so they develop several different personas to handle them all.
For this reason, you’ll seldom meet or spend time with their families, they usually don’t have any siblings and therefore used to having people (males in particular) at their beck and call. Unfortunately, these adults enable them by often complimenting their looks, and not their behaviour and accompany these compliments with rewards (emotional, verbal, physical etc). They learn to associate the two, and become so accustomed to this process they never had to work on being an overall genuinely decent person.
The sad thing is that they don’t necessarily have life easy. Many pretty girls are loaded with emotional baggage and drama which makes their entire package even more unbearable because they aren’t equipped to self reference and self correct. They just keep going – cycling out friends every few years, rotating partners, making the same mistakes over and over and with no growth to show at all.
My mother always said, “Choose friends who you can respect and learn from. It will help you become a better person and prevent you from becoming a hypocrite.”
Okay – I don’t really remember if my mom told me that or if I made it up myself – but that’s neither here nor there. Personally, I prefer a few select close friendships and securing life long bonds that are an adaptive benefit to my ‘brood’- hopefully giving my children and their children an evolutionary edge to be able to detect the imposters (people who benefit from others without giving much of themselves).
The point is – pretty friends are like a soap opera. Drama. Drama. Drama. If you don’t watch for a year – you don’t miss much. It takes you about 30 minutes catch up. They’re fun to watch – but not fun to live, and I don’t know about you – but quite frankly, I prefer the soaps.
Don’t judge me. Lol
Dee
