Little White Riding Hood

 

Once upon a time there was a young woman named Little White Riding hood who went to meet her lovely Grandma for her birthday. So she hopped in her minivan on a weekday afternoon and took a trip from her cozy suburban cemented fortress, through town carrying a basket of goodies. Well. Grandma lived far into the deep, deep Toronto landscape, where it was very, very scary.

 

Where people actually walked on the sidewalks and hung from street posts and from sloped foreheads their eyes menacingly stared. But Little White Riding hood was not afraid, for the most evil, most vengeful creature that dwelled in the thicket of downtown Toronto was not be seen, and she was glad. “I must get out of here by 4:00 as to avoid it.” She told herself.

 So she bravely parked on Parliament St. and locked her vehicle twice to ensure the security features were enabled before heading over to the Regent Park Community Clinic to meet grandma.  At the conclusion of the meeting, Little White Riding Hood proudly took her Grandmother home before beginning the long trek back West. As she got out of the car with her basket, Grandma warned, “Now you know how to avoid the you-know-what. Don’t take the highway – tek the side road and go down past di big tourist house (Casa Loma) and you will be fine. Alright mi dear.” 

“Yes Grandma,” Little White said politely and waves of flying kisses ensued all the way down the street.

She glanced at the clock – and to her surprise it was 4:30! It was too late!  Now poor Little White Riding Hood was doomed to face the monstrosity she was trying to avoid. For there deep through the streets of Toronto it was waiting for her; hungry, panting, perilous. TRAFFIC.  Traffic, the million eyed monster was ten times greater in size than she had ever heard described.

 

“Oh no!” she cried aloud!

 

She looked behind her in panic – looking for a way out. One way sign – a one way sign there…no turning..no parking.. no turning ‘buses’ excepted… it was all an absolute terror. Traffic had her right where it wanted her and began to hunt her down.

 

Oh, how it chased and mocked her – peaking out of every corner lot and side street saying, ‘Where do you think you are going little girl? Home, from seeing grandma?’ it guffawed.

‘Leave me alone!’ Little White cried, ‘You’re not real. You are a figment of my imagination – my worst nightmare – I will get home in an hour’. Traffic laughed a belly aching laugh – oh how it growled as it trailed her down Queen street and up Yonge. It pounced on her in the side streets surrounding U of T. It screeched its rubber footings down Dupont and up Ossington breathing its toxic breath into her lungs as she sat trapped.  It huffed and puffed and hurled twisted steel into her path.  

 

It gave chase until … Annette – where the trees and buildings parted and gave way to … Jane Street. “Hurrah!” she cried – burying her face in the steering wheel. One and a half hours later she was actually able to drive – to put her foot on the gas for more than 10 seconds without hitting the brake and in another half hour later she was safe and sound at home. Little White Riding Hood never drove downtown again. She took the public transit when they were least likely to strike, and she lived happily ever after.

 

The end.

The 9 to 5 workday is dead

 

I don’t think I’ll ever get a ‘crack-berry’. Not only because I will never be important enough for people to email me while I am out of the office, but also as a silent protest to the end of the 9 – 5 workday. I know there are professions that require 24 hour round-the-clock availability. Perhaps a doctor, a paramedic … a soldier… a cop.  I will even admit that entrepreneurs work longer days than the average worker. What I have a problem accepting is the extension of this expectation to the office where workers are expected  to be available at all hours of the day.  Technology has given modern day slave-drivers the excuse to expect their subordinates to hasten the project/task process due to the tools they have been provided, e.g. a laptop. Now the last time I checked, my laptop served two purposes only –

 

1)                  To be able to work from home in the event of an emergency or act of God

2)                  Occasionally finish tasks that could not be completed at work for whatever reason ( such as many useless meetings that took up my time)

 

I am thankful and appreciative for my precious laptop and its conveniences– it does allow for more flexibility; but I leave it at work 99.5% of the time. I figure that if I consistently cannot get my work done during the slotted 7.5 hours, – something else is wrong.  Whether it be a time management or human resource issue – it should be temporary.

 

However, if Suzanne keeps sending me ‘distress’ emails from 11pm-3am during weeknights, and copies the CFO, CEO and all the shareholders, that makes me look about…. 8 hours late when I respond at 9 am the next morning. That’s not right! And why were there responses going on into the wee hours of the morning? I swear these people must have clones. It must be the best kept secret in the new world. “How to excel in your job: Red Bull and its ability to promote Self Cloning”. I did NOT get that memo let me tell you.

 

I am even less impressed that when these tools go ‘missing’ as did my husband’s laptop from his trunk on the way home. He had to cash out RRSPs to replace this precious tool that the workplace did not insure. So let me get this straight. I am going to take this black box home after work (where I stayed late) to plug back into the ‘Matrix’ and ignore my family. ..without being paid overtime – AND when someone steals it from my locked trunk – I have to fork out $2000.00 to get it replaced? Well how about I just…take a vacation for a month without pay, and purchase  a second hand from my brother for a few hundred bucks. That should about even out the cost. I mean for the love of cholera – why in the hell would I ever take my laptop home again?

 

It just worries me as how far this will go. Managers now feel comfortable enough in interviews to ask “Are you looking for a 9-5 , because this is not a 9-5 job…”. I mean there are laws put into place to prevent this…right? Or are there?

 

Back in 1913 work hours were stipulated as follows:

 

The provisions of the Ontario Factory, Shop and Office Building Act of 1913, were typical, whereby:

“The hours of employment are limited as follows: No person of any

of the classes protected by the Act may be employed for more than

ten hours in one day, unless some other arrangement of hours of

labour per day has been made for the sole purpose of giving a shorter

day’s work on such day of the week as may be arranged, and no such

person may be employed for more than sixty hours in any one week.

The hours of labour are not to be earlier than seven o’clock in the

forenoon or later than half past six in a factory, or six o’clock in the

afternoon in a shop, unless a special permit in writing is obtained

from the Inspector (…)”

(Government of Canada Website) ⁽

In recent years,

“Sometimes the law only provides that where the standard workday

or workweek is exceeded, overtime must be paid. But some laws,

in addition to standard hours of work, also provide a legal maximum

number of hours per day or per week, in excess of which an employee

 is not permitted to work.”

(Government of Canada website)

So… what that means exactly is …. If you are working a 60 hr extended ‘volunteer’ workweek, and getting paid a $50k salary – you’re making $16/hr . Oh did I mention you’ll really only be taking home $35k after taxes? That’s right. Oh – I’m sorry – did you say ‘But they are paying for my phone bill?’ Well there you go.  Why don’t you just move into the office and save yourself some cash. No one would notice! Free utilities.. you could order in –just like you did at home because you were too busy working to cook. 

 

If you are confused as to what the problem is, let me clarify.  The work day ends at 5 for most of us – if you know that it ends at five ‘o’ clock, do not send me emails, instant messages or call me at eight or nine or ten or any other ungodly hour to delegate tasks to me. If you must – do not copy our superiors to serve your own self fulfilling need to stand out. If you continue to persist with this ridiculous behaviour, just know that you’re making it more difficult for the rest of us. Why can’t you just pretend to have a life – and shut the phone/laptop off. You’ll be surprised to discover that you still feel important, competent and respected by your peers.

 

This is for you Dre!  :  )

 

Denise

I was going to study but then…

 

And more excuses for the adult student

 

1)         I was going to study. I always study and yet I can’t seem to spot an ‘A’ anywhere on my university transcript. Whose to say I should be surprised? Its not like I’m spending my days toting around campus with my new academic ‘crew’.

 

2)         I am a full time employee, working 5 days a week 9-5. Mother. Wife. Daughter. Granddaughter. Sister. Girlfriend. Student. All in that order. That is what I have going on. I’m grown.  I’ve got stuff to do. So the last thing I need to do is make up excuses for why I didn’t study. Where would I begin?

 

3)         My van broke down and I spent the last week chasing the Mississauga Transit

I borrowed my brother’s lowered eagle talon but I’ve been slowly poisoning myself from Carbon Monoxide inhalation being so low to the ground. I’ve basically been smoking other people’s mufflers for several days. I can’t study under those conditions…

 

4)         My kids wouldn’t give me a break. Every time I asked them to leave me alone the spoke to me even more. They were getting on my nerves – so I had to take them to the mall.

 

5)         My friends came over unexpectedly…you don’t expect me to study and leave them alone do you? What kind of host would I be?

 

6)                  Work gave me too much work to do. I couldn’t study at lunch.

7)                  I was tired and I fell asleep during the last chapter.

                  I didn’t feel like it.

9)                  I had a headache.

10)              I wanted to remember what it felt like to be irresponsible.

 

So there. You can pick and choose any excuse from the bunch – because they are all the truth.  Now i’m going to study. Really.

 

When is it okay to say no at work? -Do you really have a choice?

 

What is the difference between Choice and Delegation?

 

 

“A choice involves a deliberate preference for one course of action over another.”

Choice consists of the mental process of thinking involved with the process of judging the merits of multiple options and selecting one of them for action. Most people regard having choices as a good thing, though a severely limited or artificially restricted choice can lead to discomfort with choosing and possibly, an unsatisfactory outcome.’ Wikipedia

 

‘Delegation (also called deputation) is the assignment of authority and responsibility to another person (normally from a manager to a subordinate) to carry out specific activities. However the person who delegated the work remains accountable for the outcome of the delegate work. ‘ Wikipedia

 

 

Good Example of Delegation

 

Manager:  “ Edith (who we assume is capable ),  I have a report for Marketing due tomorrow, but I have a lot on my plate. What is on your agenda for the next two days?”

 

Edith : “ Well, I have that  monthly summary for you, the website updates and a few campaign communications to create. “

 

Manager “Alright – tell you what, that summary you are working on for me –Lets  push that back– so you can take on this task. Here are the specifics…”

 

Bad Example of Delegation – presented as a Choice

 

Manager:  “ Edith (who we assume is capable ),  I have a report for Marketing due tomorrow, but I have a lot on my plate. Can you take care of this for me?”

 

Edith : “ Well, I have that  monthly summary for you, the website updates and a few campaign communications to create. “

 

Manager “Yeah… I know. It’s quite busy isn’t it? We are all swamped. I will send Marketing an email (pulling up new email as she speaks) to let .. Karlos.. know that Edith… (typing) … will be sending the …. Spreadsheet…over…<send>.” Perfect! So, do you think you can do it …? Thanks.”