Random Thought
So I had nothing particularly interesting to say when I first forced myself to write this blog but here goes…
It’s an awfully awkward year end – and it is approaching with such a quickness I cannot actually believe that I am actually an active participant and not just an observer. I have come to realize that while I thought I was living my life in a daring manner – trying new things and going beyond my boundaries…I’ve been doing nothing of the sort. Rather, I, like most of us have been quite restrictive and closed minded in my thinking and actions – devoting so much time avoiding what I should not be doing, that I haven’t been doing much at all.
How did I get to this very ‘comfortable’ place? Well, it could have started when I stopped moving. For those of you who have lived in the same dwelling all your life, imagine having lived in two countries and having moved a total of 23 times in your lifetime, 18 of those occurrences in the last 12 years. In those 12 years, I have worked for 17 different companies and not spent more than 5 days away from someone in my immediate family. Does ‘being settled’ mean a restrictive sense of conformity? Don’t get me wrong – I’m not fooled into thinking that just because there will ever be a moment where I am the sole owner of an idea of philosophy – or that that everyone has a specially distinctive path that leads them to a place where noone else will be. I am willing to share that space – I just kinda want to know where its going. And I’m getting the feeling that I am just sitting here waiting for the way to be shown to me when I should be making it for myself. Consistency, therefore is a tool and not a destination.
I do 3 things consistently, speak eat and sleep – in that exact order. Everything else happens when it happens and there isn’t much I do to interrupt it. I have officially fallen into line of complacency– when did that happen? It seemed to me that I was original for pursuing my studies while working and raising a family – but the joke might be on me, friends. … it just might. After all – school now is putting me at just a slight advantage over my counterparts and does not improve any of my talents. Perhaps this year – I will be more ACTIVE in pursuing my own path – maybe spending less time talking and thinking and more time listening and learning – dancing and doing.
Happy New Year All!
Denise
