Giving advice to a girlfriend who says, “He’s REALLY good in bed…BUT”.

Giving advice to a girlfriend who says, “He’s REALLY good in bed…BUT”.

But. But. – But he’s a loser. That’s what she’s thinking. What should a friend say to that?

My first advice is to invest in a reliable birth control and have back up. I mean – just remove your womb right away- because that is not a good reason to make someone a father. Unless of course we believe that we’d be doing the world a favour by passing down ‘bedding intelligence genes’ (as if there were such a thing).

I’m not downplaying the need for …satisfaction or the importance of it in a relationship – but honey – if he’s jobless, homeless, has 3 children with 3 different women, has court ordered child support payments, no car, no credit – not ONE collared shirt is his luggage nor a penny is his jean pocket…and is well on his way to 40 -how does a sex life survive that kind of stress?

If my bills are not paid I already have a problem focusing much less all that. Listen, I wouldn’t recommend him to the cat next door. You know why? The cat would starve. Some people just have no intention of taking care of anyone else but themselves. They simply cannot find the motivation to do so. Now your friend might be thinking that if she or this man suddenly fell into a bucket of money – then all would be well. Did you see what happened to Britney Spears? She picked up a ‘nice’ man …with a trailer load of baggage, a broke pocket and no intentions of pursuing a realistic career. Then ‘poof’ the girl went batty – and then what did he do? Did he man up and get a real job? If he had taken some of the girl’s money and went to school it wouldn’t have been so bad – but he did not (to my knowledge). She got sick – he bolted and I can only assume she is footing the bill for his life and that of his other children.

Now speaking of Mr. Federline, your girlfriend’s man may very well be a decent person – a loving father and know how to treat a woman inside of the house. But folks – this is not the ‘Blue Lagoon’. You are not two isolated people growing on some deserted island where all you need is love, food and sleep. I would tell my girlfriend to remember how far a good massage and bouquet of roses went with her own mother. No one chooses to raise eight children by themselves because the man slipped up on his romantic schedule. There is more to ADULT companionship.

One cannot reward someone for being nice…with their LIFE. It will not last.

Heaven forbid he should get ill and his ‘functionalities’ are limited. Or that fact that he is sooo good – that he feels to share his gift with others (resulting in more children). Then what?

He may not be physically or verbally abusive, and may make it appear that he does not want her to take care of him… but guess what…that’s what she’s doing. Taking care of him, and soon enough his children and their mothers and her own. Let’s face it. This man already has a family – in fact he has three. So your girlfriend needs to decide whether she intends on having a partner that cannot ever contribute financially to the household, and is bound to become resentful of her pushing him to do more, or whether she can manage to survive the court cases for the next 15 years, or if she actually wants to raise an adult child older than herself. If she can still be in the mood facing all that…then let her be. Just think…it’s not as if you’re going to have to buy a bridesmaid dress for the wedding at City Hall.

And that is just the truth.

Sis, (you know who you are) – you dodged a bullet my friend.

Denise