This New Year
“It is right to be contented with what we have, but never with what we are.” James Mackintosh
I have no idea who James Mackintosh is. I’m sure Google would tell me if I ask but that task is for later. The quote is a key indicator to the path of contentment; a reminder that in the quest for personal evolution, true success is seldom reflected in the things we own. This concept that is difficult to grasp given the images of success to which we are exposed, and ideas of success which are taught to us. Unfortunately, this extrinsic approval process requires us to transform ourselves in a way which reflects that there is an achievement ‘in process’ so that SOMEBODY (ANYBODY) notices. So we are on the constant look out for cues from our peers (Did they notice my new Chanel shoelaces?) and we wait and wait – to see if anyone notices (Did you hear where I travelled to this year?). We spend more time trying to get people to notice that we are ‘successful’ we forget that we actually aren’t enjoying ourselves. Don’t blame the world. If we let others define our success, then it is only natural that we look to ‘them’ for approval. But how did we ever buy into the idea of translation mapping consumerism with an individual sense of achievement and happiness?
Now, if I am to believe that someone with an expensive vehicle, a considerable costly home, etc. is successful, then I am ignoring what I know to be intrinsically true; which is that the accessibility of these items is not synonymous with a want or need for them. They are rather, and indication to me that the person who owns the company that sells these items is successful – not the person who buys them. Even that is a fallacy in itself because I have no idea what the financial standing of that company is. I can only assume that if they can afford to sell their items at such at such a grossly inflated value, they must be getting enough sales to sustain themselves! The argument may be circular but it is a necessary one to have when considering the external forces that affect the way we think about what we want – and yes – who we are.
When we create New Years resolutions and set goals for ourselves (however ill fated) can we honestly say none of these goals are affected by our culture? (Join Jenny Craig – get ready for that summer bikini!) What if I don’t have a bikini? (I don’t – and never will). Should I want a bikini? What if I am ‘Jenny Craiged’ – is it okay for me to where a new bikini with my tummy exposed – stretch marks, scars and ALL? Who knew??? I’ll add THAT to my list of how to change my life. Right away!
How much of what we aim for has to do with a tangible result – something that we can show and tell? How would those goals change if we admit that most of what we have – is more than good enough. Perhaps we should seek to attain things that will increase our quality of life. Owning a home can improve our quality of life – for instance you don’t have to start packing your bags when your son kicks a soccer ball through the supporting beam of the backyard deck. However, when your roof and plumbing gives way– you will have to pay for it – but you can take that money out of the equity of your home if needed. This however has nothing to do with where the home is or its related cost or size. That is all on the owner. The people who are dishing out all the wonderful comments and kudos don’t have to pay for the heat or electricity or land taxes or ….. so why go the extra length to impress them?
Whatever the path we choose in life, there won’t always be someone at the finish line waiting to pat you on the back. So how will you know when you are truly achieving the right goals for you? Measuring true success should be a daily goal. When you hit the pillow tonight think of all you did today – all you learned and the obstacles you overcame. Success can be attained in the medial of tasks and all the benefits lie in the way you feel about what you do.
Live.Love.Laugh.
Dee
