My so called life

August 31, 2009

Journals from the Fourth Wave of Feminism – Part V

Filed under: Personal — by dacostad @ 11:24 am
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Sexuality

The polarized education of sexuality has always intrigued me. I often wondered as an adolescent the reasons why girls were told to abstain, while boys were educated in contraceptive methods. Parents, in our culture, we noted – often allowed free reign with their sons, to date, entertain, impregnate and discard women. Some mothers had an extensive vocabulary of sexualized insults for young girls. In their eyes, girls were the sexual aggressors attempting to steal their sons away from them. It is quite an interesting dynamic. So where does that fit in with our discussion about sexuality? I suppose I could summarize my opinion from the subjective view of myself and my peers, by saying these conversations about sexuality…never really happened. The only places we heard about sex more than we did in health class was church.

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Journals from the Fourth Wave of Feminism – Part IV

Filed under: Personal — by dacostad @ 11:01 am
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Gender typing is an individual preference influenced greatly by culture (and or religion – whichever is more convenient). It is disparaging to know that the female sex is devalued to such an extent that we are being killed. This is the nature of human beings I suppose, whether it’s ethnic cleansing or a common violent incident – we find some reason to hurt and kill one another. Women are no exception. I wonder what does happen to families who decide to keep their female children? For every example I am given for the majority it would be nice to know what happens to those who go against the majority to learn of what that experience is like. While their killing or selling females in other countries, we are trying to convince our females to embrace our ‘womanhood’. I think it was a clear example by the class surveys that perhaps these ideas of femininity are demographic specific. The people in our class will likely not have been raised in households where there are rigid gender roles. Why? Our society does not support it or encourage it. We are afforded many points of view ( that are often conflicting), however we still have that alternative voice.

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Journals from the Fourth Wave of Feminism – Part III

Filed under: Personal — by dacostad @ 10:58 am

Orenstien’s Cinderella article really hit a nerve. I wrote a paper a few years back for a class called ‘Intercultural Theory and Children’s Literature’ and the thesis was based on the evolution of the bookstore and its part in defining gender roles – and childhood. To summarize my observations, there is more of a distinct line between gender roles than there is ‘childhood’. I recall some of the suggestive pre adolescent novels I came across, and the insane number of what I call ‘tv-toys’ wrapped in cardboard as a disguise for actual literature (with a common ‘l’). These are the ‘Bratz’ books and all theother toy cartoon –come-to-life commodities that get the best shelf space. I don’t’ take my children to the bookstore – because it is like taking them to Zellers. The books have nail polish and makeup attached to them. The stories are about going shopping (though they have no jobs), and attracting boys. Quite frankly, I think if anyone is going to teach my child about shopping or boys –it’s going to be me. That’s my job. I can’t imagine what improvement to her vocabulary could come from any of that material.

When it comes to the girl/woman/pageant phenomena I can see where she’s coming from. Seeing little girls dressed up as adults makes me a bit nauseous. I’m not sure why – it just seems … questionable. I don’t judge the parents – but I think as consumers we ought to demand better products. This is an economical issue to me, and I’m not so sure that even if they were to remove every princess-related article from the shelves, that little girls would have a healthy sense of self. Barbie and Disney aside, almost every story book features the picture and voice of a White child. I could complain about that – but it’s a ‘reality’. People tend to tell stories about those who look like them, sound like them etc. (mind you I don’t know how that accounts for the numerous stories of animals monsters and aliens in literature who show up more often than so called minorities) but I digress. If I want a certain type of book for my children to read, I know where to find it.

Journals from the Fourth Wave of Feminism – Part II

Filed under: Personal — by dacostad @ 10:57 am

Body Image – Cont’d

The point is, image is not as simple as it appears (no pun intended). The esthetics of body is different from the functionality ( smaller breasts = less back pain – feet without bunions = less pain) and we were not given the opportunity to express this. The lack of enthusiasm or response from the class is likely to be a result of the class size, but also the repetition of the subject at hand. I was exposed to media literacy as a student in the 12th grade over a decade ago, and subsequently through feminist college and university classes. I’m not apathetic – I’ve been fighting my own equality battles – but nobody seems interested in assuming that or wants to know how. They’d be satisfied with a simple label to affix to my psychological lapel, ‘ feminist’.

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Journals from the Fourth Wave of Feminism – Part I

Filed under: Personal — by dacostad @ 10:54 am

Our professor invited the class to discuss our perceptions of the label ‘feminist’ and to fill out a short survey to assess our attitudes. Not many of our classmates would identify themselves as ‘feminists’, which is understandable given the common associations made with such a label ( positive or negative). The book was able to define the various feminists with whom many of us were able to relate. Cataline Woldersky lectured on media and body image and print ads. She discussed the perception of the female as vulnerable, abused, violated, dominated, objectified and infantiled. If I were to take a step back and look at the world from a feminist point of view, I would see the world as a playground for men, where females, money and nature are their toys. Our second lecture focused on how females are ‘played with’ in terms of their role as pleasure providers. As a sex slave – I mean – ‘pleasure provider’, women are used to sell products (to women) by means of their purpose – for men.. (and some women)! Here is where it gets tricky. Woldersky notes that the social construct of beauty ideals has a psychological impact, with specific reference to ‘thin media’, which creates the ‘contrast effect’. The results of which create an unrealistic ‘ought’ self for the girls the ads target as well as the unintended (males, children, under-represented women).

What we were able to address in class briefly, was how to deal with outside influences such as family members and friends by disrupting the of patterns of behaviours and events that lead us to false ideas. I don’t know if I’ll be able to address every topic discussed this week, so for my first journal I’d like to simply explore a few of the points that stuck out for me.

In addition to these debates, I was able to have this discussion with a friend about my impressions of the topic and how it was being approached. To critically view the subject, we acknowledged the assumptions that are made by those who are teaching us. The assumption is that we are exposed to advertisements, and that those ads have an economical and psychological impact on the well being of the majority. That is, the topic of commerce cannot be excluded from the psychology of media. Every ‘matter’ in a piece of advertisement is a product. There is no motivation but money – and the image of women is the means by which this money is made. Why if we were all so disgusted by it – they would fail to reap profit. We would look at the commercial and say ‘there is no way I’m going to purchase that product – the image revolts me.’ This is evidence of the underlying general expectation that women assume they are to like those things that are firstly, attractive to men, and secondly expected of them to like.

As an example of this, we are invited respond to the question ‘How many people would not change their bodies?’ Well, this is the sort of question one might ask before exposing the participants to ads depicting women who, we are told, are to be the feminine ideal. Truly the question cannot be answered truthfully unless all the participants are given details as to what the consequences of changing their body parts would be. Equally important is the reasoning – which was not elicited – but assumed. My point is – do we all buy into the same group mentality as we appear to be? My guess is that asking people their opinions in a setting where they are anonymous or in a smaller group would convey different results. I must emphasize again that our education fails us often. We as Psychology students are aware of group influence, and yet I do believe we are still susceptible to it. I must say I felt pressured given the number of hands that shot up in response to this question. Although I have no desires to change myself, I had the thought…’should I be putting my hand up? Am I lying to myself? Is there something wrong with me?

Journals from the Fourth Wave of Feminism

Filed under: Personal — by dacostad @ 10:19 am

So I’ve been away for quite some time. I know that – but I asure you it has been one of the most productive periods of my life thus far. I am taking some time to rejuvenate and refresh before my next project and so I will post snippets journals that I submitted for my Psychology of Women class. I hope you enjoy.

July 22, 2009

How to Survive Summer School

Filed under: Personal — by dacostad @ 12:06 pm

So what happens when a fulltime employee, wife and mother decides to take 4 university courses in Summer school?

Brain overload.

I can literally feel my brain pressing against my skull – while attending to the most mundane of tasks. I could be driving or simply making a simple calculation and out of nowhere – headache. Two of these classes have been in process since June and I petitioned for an extra 3.0 credit course for the last summer semester which lasts approximately 6 weeks. I thought I could outsmart the system and end up with two senior level Psych classes which would not require my attendance. I would simply study for the exams..and show up! Well did I ever get surprise! Not only are both classes on two days of the week – I MUST attend! No multiple choice! Guest speakers..labs – the whole nine yards! You mean you want me to meet people and debate topics? Egad! A proposal for an experiment? Really? Now they decide to teach me…when I’m on my way out.

I’ll keep you posted.

What luck.

Dee

July 8, 2009

Where to Live? Thoughts on Home Ownership from the point of view of everyday people

Filed under: Personal — by dacostad @ 11:41 am
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Where to Live? Thoughts on Home Ownership from the point of view of everyday people

RBC released a statement today citing the recent spur in the housing market as a result of affordability. This ‘affordability’ is not a reflection of just the costs of properties – but more the cut in interest rates. The banks are getting people to focus on the monthly payments as a reflection of affordability. It reminds me of paying the minimum payment of a credit card – but of course the two types of debt are quite different in more ways than they are similar. What I would have loved to hear, is that there has been a greater gain in family income overall – but that hasn’t happened. People are losing their jobs, the yr over yr bankruptcies are up and Equifax recently reported a sharp increase in payment delinquencies (90 days or more). Here are the recent employment stats according to the CREA website:

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July 7, 2009

City Workers on Strike

Filed under: Personal — by dacostad @ 12:36 pm

I don’t have time to provide a long sordid commentary – but I find it interesting that altough Toronto city workers went on strike, and my daughter’s gymnastics facility felt no need to contact me to notify me that her classes were suspended…SOMEBODY made their way to the bank and cashed the 220.00 cheque that day. How come they weren’t on strike then ? I wish they were.

lol

Denise

June 18, 2009

The Cranberry Resort Skip-rope Rhyme

Filed under: Personal — by dacostad @ 3:37 pm
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Cranberries? Or Sour Grapes

They call it the Cranberry Resort.

The Devil is a liar.

and now for today’s skip rope rhyme.

Craa-a-a-anberry

So-ur grapes

on our anniversary

we got a taste

the phone rang loudly

back in January

the Cranberry resort

was inviting my hubby

up to Collingwood

to experience the luxury

at a very special price

we could get this itinerary

I hate to retort

on this two bit ‘resort’

where they put us in the basement

in a musty encasement

the room had two beds

and sliding doors

the walls were paper thin

and so were the floors

they put us by the arcade

down from the laundromat

told us about a ‘meeting’

and that was that

Me n my hubby

Avoiding the tub-by

We wanted to relax but

the curtain was yucky

They said it was a deal

but we skipped on the meal

They would have served venison

and called it veal

(by this time the kids would be out of breath from skipping – so there’s a switch)

Skip, skip, skip, skip…

at two in morning

there was a banging

someone was locked out

and wouldn’t stop yelling

the box springs were bare

no room service here!

and the open side door

gave us a quite a scare

So early the next day

we packed right away

Skipped that meeting

and were on our way

Craa-a-a-anberry

So-ur grapes

on our anniversary

we got a taste

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