My so called life

August 31, 2009

Journals from the Fourth Wave of Feminism – Part I

Filed under: Personal — by dacostad @ 10:54 am

Our professor invited the class to discuss our perceptions of the label ‘feminist’ and to fill out a short survey to assess our attitudes. Not many of our classmates would identify themselves as ‘feminists’, which is understandable given the common associations made with such a label ( positive or negative). The book was able to define the various feminists with whom many of us were able to relate. Cataline Woldersky lectured on media and body image and print ads. She discussed the perception of the female as vulnerable, abused, violated, dominated, objectified and infantiled. If I were to take a step back and look at the world from a feminist point of view, I would see the world as a playground for men, where females, money and nature are their toys. Our second lecture focused on how females are ‘played with’ in terms of their role as pleasure providers. As a sex slave – I mean – ‘pleasure provider’, women are used to sell products (to women) by means of their purpose – for men.. (and some women)! Here is where it gets tricky. Woldersky notes that the social construct of beauty ideals has a psychological impact, with specific reference to ‘thin media’, which creates the ‘contrast effect’. The results of which create an unrealistic ‘ought’ self for the girls the ads target as well as the unintended (males, children, under-represented women).

What we were able to address in class briefly, was how to deal with outside influences such as family members and friends by disrupting the of patterns of behaviours and events that lead us to false ideas. I don’t know if I’ll be able to address every topic discussed this week, so for my first journal I’d like to simply explore a few of the points that stuck out for me.

In addition to these debates, I was able to have this discussion with a friend about my impressions of the topic and how it was being approached. To critically view the subject, we acknowledged the assumptions that are made by those who are teaching us. The assumption is that we are exposed to advertisements, and that those ads have an economical and psychological impact on the well being of the majority. That is, the topic of commerce cannot be excluded from the psychology of media. Every ‘matter’ in a piece of advertisement is a product. There is no motivation but money – and the image of women is the means by which this money is made. Why if we were all so disgusted by it – they would fail to reap profit. We would look at the commercial and say ‘there is no way I’m going to purchase that product – the image revolts me.’ This is evidence of the underlying general expectation that women assume they are to like those things that are firstly, attractive to men, and secondly expected of them to like.

As an example of this, we are invited respond to the question ‘How many people would not change their bodies?’ Well, this is the sort of question one might ask before exposing the participants to ads depicting women who, we are told, are to be the feminine ideal. Truly the question cannot be answered truthfully unless all the participants are given details as to what the consequences of changing their body parts would be. Equally important is the reasoning – which was not elicited – but assumed. My point is – do we all buy into the same group mentality as we appear to be? My guess is that asking people their opinions in a setting where they are anonymous or in a smaller group would convey different results. I must emphasize again that our education fails us often. We as Psychology students are aware of group influence, and yet I do believe we are still susceptible to it. I must say I felt pressured given the number of hands that shot up in response to this question. Although I have no desires to change myself, I had the thought…’should I be putting my hand up? Am I lying to myself? Is there something wrong with me?

Journals from the Fourth Wave of Feminism

Filed under: Personal — by dacostad @ 10:19 am

So I’ve been away for quite some time. I know that – but I asure you it has been one of the most productive periods of my life thus far. I am taking some time to rejuvenate and refresh before my next project and so I will post snippets journals that I submitted for my Psychology of Women class. I hope you enjoy.

July 22, 2009

How to Survive Summer School

Filed under: Personal — by dacostad @ 12:06 pm

So what happens when a fulltime employee, wife and mother decides to take 4 university courses in Summer school?

Brain overload.

I can literally feel my brain pressing against my skull – while attending to the most mundane of tasks. I could be driving or simply making a simple calculation and out of nowhere – headache. Two of these classes have been in process since June and I petitioned for an extra 3.0 credit course for the last summer semester which lasts approximately 6 weeks. I thought I could outsmart the system and end up with two senior level Psych classes which would not require my attendance. I would simply study for the exams..and show up! Well did I ever get surprise! Not only are both classes on two days of the week – I MUST attend! No multiple choice! Guest speakers..labs – the whole nine yards! You mean you want me to meet people and debate topics? Egad! A proposal for an experiment? Really? Now they decide to teach me…when I’m on my way out.

I’ll keep you posted.

What luck.

Dee

July 8, 2009

Where to Live? Thoughts on Home Ownership from the point of view of everyday people

Filed under: Personal — by dacostad @ 11:41 am
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Where to Live? Thoughts on Home Ownership from the point of view of everyday people

RBC released a statement today citing the recent spur in the housing market as a result of affordability. This ‘affordability’ is not a reflection of just the costs of properties – but more the cut in interest rates. The banks are getting people to focus on the monthly payments as a reflection of affordability. It reminds me of paying the minimum payment of a credit card – but of course the two types of debt are quite different in more ways than they are similar. What I would have loved to hear, is that there has been a greater gain in family income overall – but that hasn’t happened. People are losing their jobs, the yr over yr bankruptcies are up and Equifax recently reported a sharp increase in payment delinquencies (90 days or more). Here are the recent employment stats according to the CREA website:

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July 7, 2009

City Workers on Strike

Filed under: Personal — by dacostad @ 12:36 pm

I don’t have time to provide a long sordid commentary – but I find it interesting that altough Toronto city workers went on strike, and my daughter’s gymnastics facility felt no need to contact me to notify me that her classes were suspended…SOMEBODY made their way to the bank and cashed the 220.00 cheque that day. How come they weren’t on strike then ? I wish they were.

lol

Denise

June 18, 2009

The Cranberry Resort Skip-rope Rhyme

Filed under: Personal — by dacostad @ 3:37 pm
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Cranberries? Or Sour Grapes

They call it the Cranberry Resort.

The Devil is a liar.

and now for today’s skip rope rhyme.

Craa-a-a-anberry

So-ur grapes

on our anniversary

we got a taste

the phone rang loudly

back in January

the Cranberry resort

was inviting my hubby

up to Collingwood

to experience the luxury

at a very special price

we could get this itinerary

I hate to retort

on this two bit ‘resort’

where they put us in the basement

in a musty encasement

the room had two beds

and sliding doors

the walls were paper thin

and so were the floors

they put us by the arcade

down from the laundromat

told us about a ‘meeting’

and that was that

Me n my hubby

Avoiding the tub-by

We wanted to relax but

the curtain was yucky

They said it was a deal

but we skipped on the meal

They would have served venison

and called it veal

(by this time the kids would be out of breath from skipping – so there’s a switch)

Skip, skip, skip, skip…

at two in morning

there was a banging

someone was locked out

and wouldn’t stop yelling

the box springs were bare

no room service here!

and the open side door

gave us a quite a scare

So early the next day

we packed right away

Skipped that meeting

and were on our way

Craa-a-a-anberry

So-ur grapes

on our anniversary

we got a taste

June 16, 2009

The Art of Snubbing

Filed under: Personal — by dacostad @ 3:00 pm
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The Art of Snubbing

Anyone who paid attention in high school knew the rules to snubbing and to whom they do and do not apply, but the people who know how best to snub, are those who at some point have been on the receiving end of the snub.

Make no mistake, like war, there are no winners in snubbing but there are certain etiquette and protocol that should be adhered to if one is using this method to administer a dose of scorn to a certain other person.

My mother used to say ‘there is a time and place for everything’, which brings us to the first question ‘When to snub?’

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May 23, 2009

Miss officer – did you really have to call ‘back-up’? Really?

Filed under: Uncategorized — by dacostad @ 8:52 pm

Now I know people are getting pretty hot under the collar now that spring has made a full turn ’round the bend - because  good weather is almost synonymous with increased violent crime.  I can also acknowledge that my community (for its size) appears to have a high violent crime rate. Whether they want to call it domestic affairs, gang wars or drug related crime activity is irrelevant to me. All I need to know is that people are getting hurt and having their lives taken for reasons which never seem good enough to put us at ease ( people do tell themselves its a result of natural selection – the ‘bad people’ are killing each another).  Well ‘right-on’ to you too. I prefer not to swim in naive waters, but I digress. 

My point is , I understand and encourage the increased ’security’ in Malton. We have a police station at the local ‘mall’ (I can’t call it that without those quotes…I just CAN’T) and neighbourhood police patrols that seem to begin and end on MY street. I almost feel like i’ve bought into a gated high security neighbourhood at a steal. So thanks!

What I don’t appreciate however, is you tailing me all the way home at 7 in the morning – or following me to drop my daughter off at school. Thats right folks. Miss Officer, who everyone seems to recognize but to whom noone is familiar, followed me down my street and tailed me 2 streets over before pulling me over a stop sign away from my daughter’s school. At 8:30 in the morning. REALLY? See I was driving my mom’s car, which she was gracious enough to loan me after my car had been involved in an accident. Coincedentally, in order to allow me access to the vehicle, my mother who is injured from a separate car accident had to retrieve her car from the body shop so that I could drive it. Although the car had been there for months – technicians thought it was funny to leave my mother’s front licence plate on the dash.

Where it had fallen off – so although the officer saw that I had plates on the back of the car, she still pulled me over. By this time, I had picked up the plate and placed in on the dashboard. She got out of her car, and I left my window up and looked straight ahead while she inspected the ‘98 Camry before tapping on my window. “I stopped you because your licence plate was missing from the front of the vehicle’. I explained my dilemma while my daughter sat in the back quietly. After my story – she asked for my documents. Thats right. THEN she called for back up.

At this point I was tempted to tell my daughter to walk to school – but hey – why make a bad thing worse? So I reached over into my purse – grabbed my ‘Cognition’ textbook and started reading. About ten minutes later she returned and caught me eye-over-spectacle fully entranced into my book. She looked utterly confused. I let her stand there a while before looking over with a look of annoyance, “Yes?’ I asked.

Miss Officer handed me my documents and mumbled something about putting the plates on as soon as possible. She and her equally daft colleague conversated some more, about what I would only assume involved a plan to avoid doing any more work whatsoever.  Maybe she should patrol the area around her office – the mall – where people have used weapons in broad daylight as of recently – but hey what do I know ? ;p

Cheers,

Denise

April 24, 2009

5 Types of Men Women avoid

Filed under: Uncategorized — by dacostad @ 3:31 pm
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5 Types of Men Women avoid

Before I start this list – I must note that I find it astonishing that men can almost ALWAYS find someone regardless of what category they may align with. Women…Yeah not so much. That being said – here is what I was able to come up with.

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April 22, 2009

5 Types of Women that Men Avoid

Filed under: Uncategorized — by dacostad @ 3:32 pm
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5 Types of Women that Men Avoid

 

1 ) Women that actually expect men to approach them. Evolutionary psychology states that it is a cross cultural tendency for the person with the higher status to approach a prospective mate. Ignoring the idea that ‘status’ is synonymous with value, I am comfortable suggesting that for the most part, men usually have initiated contact with the opposite sex over the years. Recently, it appears (from observation and interviews) women have become the ‘seekers’.

Does this mean there has been some type of cultural role reversal? Or have men, being outnumbered, become lazy since they don’t have to work very hard to find a mate? Nevertheless, for the traditional woman this does not bode well.

My advice? Hit the border. You know why.

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